On Negativity

I've seen too much of people dealing problems with negativity. People always ask me not to be so positive. My parents wonder why am I able to be fine with coping with failing my school term for 5 years. My friends think I don't give a fuck about my studies. Well, I actually do. I just don't whine and complain or cry about it, or think that I am hopeless because I am not labelled a "graduate".

The thing about people - they tend to deal with problems even before adjusting their own mentality.
And it's really redundant if you try solving problems before you adjust your mindset.

Wait, we all know what being negative means. But what are negative emotions?

• Sadness
• Fear
• Anger
• Aggression
• Annoyance
• Confusion
• Paranoid
• Self-pity
• Resent
• Deluded
• Jealousy
• Blaming
• Injustice

All these are but only a handful of emotions we commonly feel.

What does negativity do?

• It limits your view. It narrows your options. For example, if you quarrel with your sibling/girlfriend/someone you love, you tend to be overwhelmed by anger. (or any of the above depending on your nature)

The only option that you have when you feel angry? Aggression. You fight back. You quarrel. And if you partner has no capability of adjusting her mindset, she does the same back to you. You're focused on the argument, and you leave out the options of talking things out, or taking a step back, or simply giving in. You lose the ability to weigh the consequences due to your actions.

You were walking along an alley and suddenly a man confronts you. Fear takes over you.
Your vision is focused on running away from the man. And when you let fear take control, you didn't think of fighting back. You didn't think of grabbing the bottle glass lying nearby to confront him. You closed your options due to fear.

This is what happens when negative emotions control your mind.

I'd like to bring this issue onto social media, which is the most apparent way of expressing thoughts.
Posts full of whines, complaints about people, friends, work issues, are everywhere.
We do whine once in awhile. Do me a favour, scroll through your own posts and see if it's whiny at least 80% of the time. If it fits, something is fucking wrong with you. You're too negative. Please don't blame your friends if they dislike you.

And in all brutal honesty, no one cares about your whines.

You realise with negativity controlling your actions, problems don't get solved, no matter what you do. And if problems persist, it's not about the problem. It's about you.

If you're consistently having problems with friendships, with relationships, and no matter what you do it just keeps repeating, it's you who are the problem. Not your friends.

How else would your problems be gone if you're the problem yourself?

• Negativity is contagious. 

Maybe you're surrounded by people who are negative. Trust me, eliminate them. If not, please place lower importance on their words. People who tell you that you "CANNOT" or constantly make you feel that you are not capable, they will not be the ones who will acknowledge ANY success you have. Find the great people, who see the best in you, who make you feel good, and make you feel worthy.
These are the people who will celebrate each milestone you've marked.

Acknowledgement is important to us - human beings love compliments. We get praised when we're were young, scoring well for a test. We feel great. However, when we're all grown up, no one goes up to you and tells you "Good Job", for solving your company's issues. And if your workplace doesn't positively influence you emotionally, please choose the right people you hang out with after working hours - Not quit your job if you know you're good at what you're doing.

Lack of acknowledgements do not equate to your incapability.

... I actually don't know how can people tolerate humans who seem to criticise on anything and everything.

With the right people and the right mentality, problems will seem, well, not so problematic afterall.


This is really just a personal point of view.
Again, I apologise if it offends anyone.

(have to say this kind of shitty statement in case I get flamed again)
(not really sorry for providing a personal point of view actually)